Hypocrite...

I always tell people never to keep things bottled up inside. I guess I don't practice what I preach. That makes me a hypocrite.

People always think they understand what it is I'm going through because I'm such an open person. My ex-boyfriend says I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Truth is you see what I want you to see, nothing more, nothing less. I never let anyone understand the anguish that is truly bundled up within the pit of my stomach. I never tell you about the things that trouble me the most...I barely let you scratch the surface. This makes me a hypocrite.

I cannot allow myself to be so vulnerable...you say I'm open but you don't really know me. You have no idea at all. I guess it's because I've tried to lay it all on the table so many times with so many different people, only to be disappointed at every turn. To always put in 100% never so much as half of that in return. You think you know me but what do you really know? You don't know me at all, but does that make me a hypocrite?

Or does that make you completely oblivious? To never be able to see past "I'm fine" or "I'll be ok", never, not once. Either way, I suppose things will continue to be the same. You'll go on believing that you know me and I will go on...letting you believe what you will, and that makes me a hypocrite.