I'm Back! (I think)

Hello my loves!

So my friend Shinke, the Shiney one, has been sitting on my balls for the past few weeks; "why have you abandoned your blog?" she says, "why aren't you writing?" she says. So here I am, pleasing you, oh Shiney one, with a blog post.

Except, I had no clue what to write about. I pondered and thought about it and...nothing. It's not as if they aren't an abundance of topics out there for me to speak on. I mean, the New Year just rolled on by; Happy 2012 by the way, and Christmas before that, and elections here in Jamaica, but none of these topics really interest me. Not enough to blog about anyway.

The truth is I've been feeling like a little emo bitch of late. I'm so unhappy it's pathetic. I might as well dress myself in black dreary clothes and over use my eyeliner and listen to sad, depressing music from my iPod all day long with a sign that says "Fuck Everything" on my forehead.

Its a particularly nasty cycle. I'm self loathing for self pitying and self pitying for self loathing and starting all over again and its pathetic.

You'd think in my current state, all the boys would pack their bags and run far far away, wouldn't you? I certainly thought so. Apparently I was so wrong. There is obviously some attraction that I will never understand for the girl with the fucked up emotions. I swear, these kids must have a hero complex or something, because I've never been asked out so much in life. I cannot for the life of me make sense of it.

I really don't think these kids understand what they are potentially getting themselves into. And I'm not even trying to push them away. I mean come on, I am literally at my lowest, what else can you do to turn a guy off at this point?

I think they think they can fix me somehow. Poor bastards. I'm way past the point of no return.

Pink Duchess
xoxo

BOYS! Y U No Passionate Bout Love Like U Passionate Bout Sports?

I love how passionate boys are with their little toys and their games. I mean, I just love how enthralled they get during a sports match or a video game. They're very attentive when it comes on to these kinda things. You could be standing beside the television screen butt naked with a sandwich in your left hand and a beer in the right, and I guarantee you it will still take him more than a few seconds to recognize you're there. I guarantee you!

Sometimes what they want to happen, in terms of a match or game-play doesn't, and boy, you should see them rage!
               

Nevertheless, I love the passion. I love the excitement and the commitment that they put into it, even when they're angry and fed up of the whole thing. I know this one guy, he plays Fifa 12 religiously, and he gets so angry at times, because the game has glitches, and he's losing on technical issues, and he's getting relegated to the previous leagues and he gets so pissed and calls it a day every fucking day. "I'm done!", he says, yet tomorrow, he's right back it again, that you can count on. 

How awesome would it be if they could be this passionate about their feelings? How fucking awesome would it be if they could rep their girl the way they rep their team; hardcore, undying loyalty and commitment? How amazing would it be if they were as dedicated to us as they were to their Fifa 12 or their Manchester United? No matter how frustrating being on our team gets and now matter how many times they declare "fuck it! I'm done", you know, without a doubt, they'll be on your doorstep tomorrow, willing to give just one more shot. I think that would be pretty fucking amazing.

Pink Duchess

xoxo

Annoying Exes

The exes.

These are the people that often time make you wonder what the hell you were thinking.

Or they can make you wish you hadn't been so oblivious to what you had.

Either way, the whole situation is an experience for you to learn from, grow and move on.

The type of exes I wanna talk about this time around are the annoying ones. The ones that haven't grasped the concept of what an ex is supposed to be

If we've broken up, then it wasn't a spontaneous, irrational act. I did not get up one morning and say to myself 'Hmm...I feel like breaking today, so I'm gonna'. No... I'd like to believe that if two people are in a relationship and they decide to break up, some amount of thought would have gone into the decision.

I admit that most times break - ups aren't amicable, and both parties aren't in agreement that the relationship should end. More often than not, one person will want to hold on; one party will be willing to try to stay together and work things out.

However, when it is clear that it wont work and you both need to go your separate ways, please do so. Going your separate ways does not include the following:

• Calling/Texting your ex every hour on the hour to tell them you want them back together
• Turning up at their residence unannounced every other day, begging to get back together
• Trying to scare off the people that they are currently dating
• STALKING them

I should add that staying up all night with a bottle of Jack, singing "All by Myself" and crying on the living room floor is not moving on either. 

You had your chance with this person. It didn't work out. The best thing you could do for yourself is to accept that, learn from your mistakes and get on with your life.

 And stop acting so pathetic all the goddamn time

Pink Duchess

xoxo

Just a thought

You may not be his first, his last, or his only.


he loved before he may love again.


But if he loves you now, what else matters?

hes not perfect - you aren't him,

and the two of you may never be perfect together

but if he can make you laugh, cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto him and give him the most you can.

He may not be thinking about you every second of the day,


but he will give you a part of him that he knows you can break - his heart.

So don't hurt him, don't change him, don't analyze

and don't expect more than he can give.

Smile when he makes you happy, let him know when he makes you mad,

and miss him when he is not there.

I don't know who wrote that...truth be told I could just Google it and find out but meh, I'm lazy tired. I found it 


sweet and real and I decided to share. 


There's a guy I feel this way about...


Do you feel this way about someone? 


Pink Duchess
xoxo

Hypocrite...

I always tell people never to keep things bottled up inside. I guess I don't practice what I preach. That makes me a hypocrite.

People always think they understand what it is I'm going through because I'm such an open person. My ex-boyfriend says I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Truth is you see what I want you to see, nothing more, nothing less. I never let anyone understand the anguish that is truly bundled up within the pit of my stomach. I never tell you about the things that trouble me the most...I barely let you scratch the surface. This makes me a hypocrite.

I cannot allow myself to be so vulnerable...you say I'm open but you don't really know me. You have no idea at all. I guess it's because I've tried to lay it all on the table so many times with so many different people, only to be disappointed at every turn. To always put in 100% never so much as half of that in return. You think you know me but what do you really know? You don't know me at all, but does that make me a hypocrite?

Or does that make you completely oblivious? To never be able to see past "I'm fine" or "I'll be ok", never, not once. Either way, I suppose things will continue to be the same. You'll go on believing that you know me and I will go on...letting you believe what you will, and that makes me a hypocrite.

Life Hurts...

Sometimes....I'm so over this life and living it. Today is one of those days.

What's a girl to do though? You can't simply stop living. How does that make things better? Who exactly do you help?

I choose to live on...because if you've hit rock bottom...there's no other way to go but up

Pink Duchess
xoxo

OMG..Did You See The True Blood Finale?

So have you watched it yet? If you haven't, LEAVE THE PAGE NOW. I will not beheld responsible for the spoilers! The post might be a little long but bear with me...it's 2 a.m. and I'm excited!

Still with me? Fantastic!

Who could have anticipated that the title of the finale would have been taken so literal? "And if I die..."; the season finale ended with a bang! First up on the list of surprises, Jesus dies :(. He gave the ultimate sacrifices; his life and his magic to keep Lafayette safe. It was very sad to watch, though I couldn't help thinking that Marnie had no other host to possess at the moment, so Lala would have probably been okay if Jesus had held out. However, we all know that Marnie is one crazy lunatic so who's to tell if she wouldn't have really plucked Lafayette's eyeball out and had it for breakfast?

Fast forward a few scenes, and we are at King Bill's mansion, and Mrs Crazy herself has Bill and Eric both bound in silver and ready to be burned at the stake. At this point in time, I'm so over Marnie...I just wanna see her go but not at Lafayette's expense. Holly draws a circle with salt and she, along with Sookie and Tara start chanting and then shit gets real. Out from the cemetery walks a bunch of dead people, including Antonia and Adele (Sookie's grandmother) who pulls Marnie the fuck out of Lafayette. Antonia convices her to finally get her crazy ass up on out of the show and Adele leaves Sookie with some real good advice: 'don't be afraid to be alone'.

While all this is going on Jason is once again fucking Jessica, even after Hoyt kicked his ass earlier and tells him that he will never experience the kind of love and passion that he and Jessica once shared with anyone because "something is missing from inside of him". I think Hoyt's anger was heightened from Jason's elaboration on the many different sex positions that he and the forever virgin Jessica had tried. In a naughty Red Riding Hood costume, mid-ride, Jessica tells Jason she's not ready to commit to him, that way she wont hurt him the way she did Hoyt. She leaves to feed, telling Jason that she's not ready for the 'intimacy' and who shows up at Jason's door after she leaves?

 None other than Reverend Steven Newlin sporting a brand new set of fangs. I imagine Rev Vamp is experiencing quite a bit of self - loathing at the moment, seeing he's been turned into the thing he hates the most. But why is he at Jason's house? And who turned him?

Sookie chooses neither Bill nor Eric and I mean, seriously people, did you not see that one coming? She really couldn't be with either of them without hurting the other and its Sookie! Miss-Do-Good...sunshine and daisies...this was the way it was going to play out. Furthermore, Gran did tell her to not be afraid to be alone and that girl took those words right to heart and ran with it.

What's crazier than Rene showing up at Merlotte's to warn Arlene about Terry? Poor Arlene was so freaked out after she pinched herself and realized she had fallen asleep. It was odd that Rene was warning her about Terry though, he's such a sweet loving guy. But did you realize the way he looked at her when he introduced her to his Marine buddy and she said "nice to meet you. Terry has told me absolutely nothing about you"? Yea, real suspect.

Nan Flanagan. I've been waiting for them to do this bitch in all season. By now, she should have known better than to threaten Sookie...or to call Bill Compton and Eric Northman puppies. When she revealed that she was fired from the Authority, and wanted to ally with them she was safe. After all, she had been given orders to kill them both and had decided against it. Then she brought up Sookie and Eric took out her guards in the blink of an eye and Bill staked that bitch mid sentence. Rest in a pile of gloop Nan, I sure wont miss you.

Russell is missing from his concrete grave. Alcide made the discovery at about the same moment that Pam was bawling about Eric forsaking her. But who dug Russell out? And is it possible for his fangs to grow back?

Then we get to the part of the episode that had me literally sitting up in my bed with my mouth hanging open. Debbie storms into Sookie's kitchen, shot gun in hand every intention to blow Sookie sky high. She was probably high on V and as is the case with all addicts, she blames someone else for things that have gone wrong in her life. Leveling the gun, she tell Sookie that she should have done this a long time ago. All this time, I'm waiting for Sookie to shoot light rays from her hand and knock Debbie the fuck out...and it seems like she's just about to do it...when in walks Tara.

Tara launches herself in front of Sookie at the same moment Debbie pulls the trigger. There's an explosion and Tara's goes limp. Fueled with built up rage as well as being sick and tired of loved ones dying on her kitchen floor, Sookie flings herself on Debbie and grabs hold of the gun. She places it right under the bitch's chin and Debbie has the motherloving audacity to ask that her life be spared. I felt a wave of deep, dark satisfaction when Sookie blew her head off...I was happy to see the bitch dead.

But lying on the kitchen floor was Tara, and we don't know if she's gone but I for one sincerely hope not.

What did you think of the finale?

All I know, True Blood is definitely getting picked up for a fifth season. The waiting is on

Pink Duchess
xoxo